Crove

    Today is the day, registration day at my new college. Happy, scared, nervous, butterfly in my stomach...I felt everything.  Step by step and seeing the seniors along my way to the hall, makes me felt like I want to run away or can I say "stop looking at me" or "what you want from me?" and blablabla. Then, thanks to God finally I saw the hall.
     Insides or outsides the hall, my God, so many students!!!! And now its time, I strengthened my heart to step inside the hall, and....finally I step it...Done! Know I am officially called as a student of Charlette College.
                                                             


                                                                   .....2 Weeks Later....


    There's a senior name Christina, she's like to friends with me. She told me that her friend like me. "Lled, you want to know something?"
 " What is it sis" " my friend likes you" I don't know what respond should I gave? Should I said "Ha?" or "really?!" or " you just kidding right" or maybe " my God I'm so happy!" and finally I said
" Oh, haha, you just joking right? I'm still freshy here, no one knows me yet..haha" fine, it's a safe answer even for me it's kind of ridiculous.
     " I'm not joking Lled, seriously he likes you"
     'Lled, do not ever notice that guys will like you fast like this, they just playing on you, they are senior, they like to play on you' I'm starting to monologue.


      One fine day, finally I met that 'Crush Guy'. Not so handsome, not so tall, wearing braces and not so fat but kind of tough. Hmmm..not so bad for me. He had a looked. He is a good looking guy. He smile at me, and I just replied it. But...why I felt strange to myself, I felt something about my feeling to him. Haha..maybe because they said he likes me.. oh Lled, stop noticing that what they said are true.


                                                                   ...1 Month Later...


    I fall in love with my senior, Rayz. No crush, never noticed everything, suddenly he becomes my boyfriend. He just asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes. Stupid! I do not know anything about him, and I accept him? I think I'm crazy.
    One day, all my seniors know about me and Rayz. They all said " why you with him?" What's wrong him? He's not an animal I think? Forget what people said.
    But still, everytime I saw that 'crush guy', my heart beats faster, and shame to see him. Everytime I met him or try to talk with him, I am so speechless. ' Lled you had a boyfriend, one is enough' my heart spoke to me and I try to ignore my feeling.
    " I heard that you are with Rayz right know? Is that true?" My God, he talk to me!!! Can I just say "NO! I'm single, I don't have any boyfriend, don't trust what people said" but I can't. "hmm..yes" weakly. Why I felt sad after saying that to him? I had a boyfriend, and that guy is not my boyfriend, he is not crush on me,  he just strummed on me. Lled wake up!!
     
     One day, Charlette College had an event. so, that night we had to make some work at the hall , we had to decorate the hall. And... he was there!!! " Christina, what his name actually?" "You never know his name?" "No" simple answer. "His name is Val, Val Peter." "Val, nice name" "Hmm.. I can sense something from you Lled"  She tried to tease me. "Sense what?" "Nothing" fine...
     "Lled, I'm sorry maybe make you notice that Val likes you" " What are you talking about?" Now I'm curious. " Val just teasing you, he said sorry to you, and actually he had a girlfriend already." I'm faking my smile. S***..my God, my heart are so broke. I'm broken. I knew it, they juat teasing me. 'keep on calm Lled, and threw away your stupid feel, start focusing on one guy, Rayz.' That's all I can do.


                                                          


                                                                      ...1 Year Later...


     A year had past, and now I am a second year student. But this year is my bad luck for me, I had broke with my boyfriend, because of one tragedic story.
     After that, I promise to myself that I will be a new person,  I will change everything, accept one, I still can't change my feeling to Val. Everytime I met him, my heart are starting to beat, beats faster and faster and even faster. Am I crush on him or...fall in love?
      He kind of different this year. This year, he always sends his regards to me. Everytime his friends met me, they will say " Val sends a regards to you" many time. again and again and again. But this time, I never replied his regards, cause I don't want to disappoint like what happen last year. It's totally teaching me for not trusting someone easily.  'Sorry Val, I don't want to be hurt anymore'


                                                            


                                                                   ...3 Months Later...


      "Lled, trust me he is totally likes you, crush on you, not just that, he is totally loves you!" Shally my friend.
    " He had a girlfriend, he can't fall in love with two girls in a same time"
     "Lled, he is single, he had been single, he broke with Stephanie since end last year, and one more thing, he likes you since last year."
     "Are you kidding me? Christina told me last year, he just teasing me, he had a girlfriend!"
     " Yes last year he had a girlfriend, but do not notice that he is happy with his girlfriend, he said to you he just teasing you, but actually he mean it."
And I...speechless after heard it.


                                                                    ...5 Months Later...


      I don't know why I gave my Wechat ID to Val. I think this is  the stupid think that I'd done. I wait for his friends invitation...but it's 11 pm already and its nothing. So I post, 'waiting...'  I wait for him.
Suddenly, there's a notification sound from my phone, quickly,,,'ValPeter' and of course its him. quickly I press 'accept' only God knows what I felt.
     He start to chat with me..my God, I can't stop smiling...one day, he told me something..
     "Lled, do you want to know something?"
     "What it is?"
     " I like you since last year, since I saw you step inside the hall" I am speechless. God knows everything.
     " I'm sorry for saying that I'm just teasing you, but actually I meant it. But, I was ashamed and afraid to you. You are clever person, kind, had a cute smile. If I saw you, I felt something touch my heart, something told me you are my angel. When I asked to you about Rayz, and you said it's true, my heart totally broke, but i just faking my smile. I had girlfriend, but she's giving me a fake love. She leaves me end of last year. My heart broke once again, my heart broke with a two girls in that year. But your friends Shally and Christina said keep on trying..I almost gave up, i almost don't want to send a friend invitation cause i scared to broke once again. But, something that encourages me for having you, I had read one quotes, it said 'you will lose the moon while you counting the stars' I'm afraid to lose the moon, cause I think the moon is you, so can I asked you something, would you be my girlfriend or if we can go far one day, you will be part of my life?"
      I was crying when I heard of what he said, first I thought maybe just a sweet talking, but my heart said he is gift from God. I took a long time for giving an answer.
      " Can I know your respond? Would you accept me?"
      " Val, I'm afraid to say yes. Cause I'm scared tou hurt once again, I'm scared to say no, cause I'm afraid that I will lose half of my priceful life story. I am love with you, crush on you since I know you. I had a strange feeling about you. When you said that you just teasing, I am totally broke, but my heart said, that guy is for you. I also scared that you will regret if you had me, I'm not good in treating my boyfriend, maybe that's why my ex leaves me. I'm scared that I will not take care of you and I was so humble to you cause you are religious person, not like me, you deserve to have more better than me"
     "Not everyone are perfect, hurt, disappoint, sad are normal in love, there won't be a perfect love if we not through all bitter sweet in life. I asking you again, would be my girl? I really want you, half of my heart I had gave to you"
     "Val"
     "Yes"
     "I'm not perfect, we both are not perfect, but maybe God want us to meet each other so we can make us perfect,...yes, I would like to be your girlfriend"


       Val is my crush, I crush on him since I know him in that college, he kept his feeling to me for two years. And i kept my feeling to him for two years. We started from crush, then we fall in loves each other. So I called it 'crove' cause he is my 'crush' and he is my 'love'